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If you are searching for informative and helpful information regarding divorce and family law issues in Alabama, you've come to the right place. Mobile and Baldwin County attorney Jim Jeffries provides monthly posting and updates, including informative articles and helpful reviews on current divorce-related news events. Our firm has more than two decades experience in our practice areas and is dedicated to providing excellent service and skilled representation for each of our clients. We also seek to further the education of each of our clients regarding divorce matters, so check back regularly for more information on Alabama Family Law! 

Saturday, 05 January 2013 19:58

Proper Ways to Tell Your Kids About Divorce

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Children in Divorce

Divorce can be a difficult situation for anyone to face, and it can be especially challenging for children, who perhaps do not understand why their parents are getting divorced, or are confused about their own role in their parents' marriage. Talking with children about divorce is an essential step toward helping them accept the situation, but it can be difficult for many parents to do. Oftentimes, parents put off talking to their kids about their divorce because they are unsure how to approach the topic, but this delay can make a divorce even more difficult for a child or children to move past.

When kids are suddenly facing the divorce of their parents, they may feel like the divorce is their fault, or they could become angry and begin acting out. Such a situation can make a divorce even more difficult to process for both spouses, but talking to your kids strategically and effectively might prevent any confusion or anger.

Strategies for Talking to Your Kids

While talking to your children about your divorce may not seem appealing or may seem beyond your capabilities, just remember that a lot of people have to go through this process and there are ways to make it easier on both yourself and your kids. Some strategies for making this process easier include the following:

ñ  Talk to your kids with your spouse – present a united front

ñ  Carefully explain the reasons for the divorce, as appropriate

ñ  Make it clear that the divorce is not the child's fault

ñ  Maintain eye contact and a calm voice and demeanor

ñ  Avoid blaming your spouse for anything, and stay positive

ñ  Allow plenty of time for kids to ask questions

Each of these strategies can make talking with your kids about your divorce easier, not just for your children, but for you as well. While you may not implement all of these strategies, you can decide which will work best for your situation and use them at your discretion. If you feel like you need additional advice for talking to your children, you may want to consider talking to a divorce lawyer, as these professionals have the experience necessary to advise families in a variety of situations. Remember, every family is different, so talking about your divorce with your kids will be a different experience for you than it would be for someone else.

Donna Swanson is a Legal Writer/Blogger from Austin Texas | Legal News

broken heart divorceIf either you or your spouse may be thinking about a divorce, the first thing you should do is consult with an attorney who handles divorce matters in your area.  Too often I meet with people who have talked to friends or family and been given totally wrong information about one or more issues they will face in the event of a divorce.  These sources are great to get advice from in many instances but a possible divorce is not one of them.  Friends and family are very important for both emotional and possibly financial support but don’t rely on them for divorce  advice.

One of the things I enjoy most about my practice is meeting new people and finding out about how I can help them deal with their particular circumstances.  Every person’s situation is unique.  A divorce lawyer can advise you regarding your specific circumstances and tell you what you should be doing as well as things you should not be doing to put yourself in the best possible position to either get the best settlement or prepare yourself for a potential trial.  This is even more important for people who may not be familiar with the particular facts surrounding their finances or how much income they have.  There might be things like specific expenses for children or other reasons to cause you to want to go ahead and file, wait to file or not file at all.  If you think you might have to deal with a divorce, go see a lawyer and find out what issues are going to be important in your situation as soon as you can.  Without a doubt dealing with a potential divorce is stressful enough.  Don’t compound your anxiety by not getting real answers to your questions from a lawyer who knows how to answer them.

Tuesday, 18 December 2012 07:36

Compulsive Shopping & Divorce

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Compulsive shopping is a serious affliction that has an effect upon thousands and can lead to serious problems including divorce. Someone recently brought an article to my attention on this subject that can be found at a NBC affiliates’ website. The article states the following interesting facts:

“According to a study in 2006, approximately six percent of the population of the U.S. can be classified as “compulsive” shoppers.

According to research, compulsive shoppers average around $9,000 worth of credit card debt.

According to psychologist Dr. April Benson, who specializes in treatment of compulsive shoppers, many people who spend a great deal of time shopping and making compulsive purchases typically feel “really hollow inside.”

Benson says that compulsive buyers will generally attempt to fill the “hollowness” with material things, which can result in severe consequences.

According to studies, women are not the only ones who can become impulsive shoppers, men are just as likely to succumb to uncontrolled spending.”

I recently helped a client in a divorce in Mobile, Alabama where the husband has incurred an incredible about of debt going gambling at the casino boats. That situation is very similar to what they are describing in this article – compulsive, addictive behavior that escalates over time to the point that it interferes with one’s relationship with their spouse and eventually ends in divorce. In either case, it is a sad conclusion for a behavior that may have started out innocently enough.

Tuesday, 18 December 2012 07:36

Women, Money & Divorce

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I recently came across an article in the internet by Samantha Change, the Executive Editor of theimproper.com. The article discussed the financial hardship that women in particular have as a result of divorce. One of the things that Samantha emphasizes is the importance of women being involved with and informed about the financial affairs of the family. In representing women in Mobile and Baldwin County Alabama where I practice, I too have noticed that often the wives do not know a lot about the financial situation of the family. This is not always the case. But, I do see it quite a bit in my divorce practice.

The main thrust of Samantha’s article is for women to be involved and educated about the money and financial issues in the marriage. Some of the other points she makes are summarized below. Here is a link to the entire article.

According to recent statistics, U.S. divorce rates have decreased in recent years after a peak in the 1970s, but still remain fairly high. In addition to being an emotional breakup, divorce can bring about serious financial issues that can have long-term consequences on the economic stability of a woman.

According to recent studies, a woman’s standard of living decreases at least 30 percent after divorce, which means getting a grip on finances both during and after divorce is crucial for surviving intact.

Don’t Bury Your Head in the Sand

All women-especially divorcées-need to overcome their aversion to money issues, educate themselves and set financial goals. Part of the reason why divorce hits women so hard financially is due to most of them being reliant on their husbands to take care of household financials while married and then becoming shell-shocked having to manage their own situation on their own.
Self-sufficiency is crucial, and these tips can help.

Study Your Finances

According to investment advisor Lisa Fox, women often have no idea what they have financially. She says that during an after a divorce, they should be aware of all investments and read each financial statement, investigating anything they are unsure of. Fox also suggests keeping track of finances by copying all important documents.

Knowing what you have puts you in a better position for negotiation during divorce.

Create a Budget

Draw up a post-divorce budget while in negotiations in order to provide yourself with a snapshot of the type of settlement you’ll need, keeping in mind that downsizing may be required for your lifestyle after divorce.

Money: Not Just a Man’s Issue

Because women tend to live longer, earn less money during their lifetimes, and not be prone to investing, they have different financial needs than men. This makes getting a handle on financial issues is important, and should be done so sooner than later.

Divorce is never easy, but through common sense and financial responsibility, making the transition can be made easier.

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